Lyrics : Stephen Schwartz
Music : Stephen Schwartz
Now that we're friends
I've decided to make you my new project
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, I know, that's what makes me so nice
Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I
And let's face it, right, who isn't less fortunate than I?
My tender heart tends to start to bleed
And when someone needs a makeover, I simply have to take over
I know, listen, I know, okay, exactly what they need
And even in your case
Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face
Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed
Follow my lead
And yes, indeed, you will be
Popular, you're gonna be popular
I'll teach you the proper ploys when you talk to boys
Little ways to flirt and flounce, ooh
I'll show you what shoes to wear, how to fix your hair
Everything that really counts to be
Popular
I'll help you be popular
You'll hang with the right cohorts
You'll be good at sports, know the slang you've got to know
So let's start 'cause you've got an awfully long way to go
Don't be offended by my frank analysis
Think of it as personality dialysis
Now that I've chosen to become a pal
A sister and adviser, there's nobody wiser
Not when it comes to
Popular
I know about popular
And with an assist from me to be who you'll be
Instead of dreary who you were, well, are
There's nothing that can stop you from becoming popular, -lar
La-la, la-la
We're gonna make you pop-u-lar
When I see depressing creatures, with unprepossessing features
I remind them on their own behalf to think of
Celebrated heads of state or especially great communicators
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don't make me laugh
They were—
Popular
Exactly, that's what I'm saying
It's not about aptitude, it's the way you're viewed
So it's very shrewd to be
Very, very popular like me
And though you protest your disinterest
I know clandestinely
You're gonna grin and bear it, your newfound popularity
La-la, la-la
La-la, la-la
La-la, la
You'll be popular
Just not quite as popular as me