WHO I WAS

by NF, mgk

Lyrics : Jeff Sojka/Aaron Chafin/NF/Colson Baker
Music : Jeff Sojka/Aaron Chafin/NF/Colson Baker
Ash and dust
Everything I care about and love
Burning up
Nothing left of who I thought I was
Who I was
I'm stuck in traffic trying to find my way to a home
That I've never known on a GPS with no address
So I follow my heart but my heart is scattered
Like my father's ashes in the back of the rental after I dropped his urn
Probably a metaphor for everything I've learned
Like how the only love I'll have is gonna crash and burn
Or how the poorest I felt was after the most I've earned
The biggest lie I've told is that no one should be concerned
There's got to be another highway that don't lead to Hell
A star to lead me through the darkest night like Christian Bale
I hid from God for more than two decades of life
For when I came back into the light he didn't ask me if I'm Christian still
Just opened up his arms and embraced me like I'm his son
Erasing all the archetypes of what people like me become
Since I was young my personality split like serpents tongue
But all the poison in my body still aint make me numb
I lost a best friend and felt all that
Crying on his open casket, well I knelt on that
I had a best man picked out for my wedding
But instead of getting married I carried guilt and left all that
A vagabond that broke a bond for boca raton
Who all along regretted he never kept all that
I left everything behind but this engagement ring and a frozen heart
I'm standing in the fire to melt all that yeah
Ash and dust
Everything I care about and love
Burning up
Nothing left of who I thought I was
Who I was
I, I, I was
Lash out
Need to take a breath and calm down
Try to regulate don’t know how
Wasn’t taught that in my house
Kids of my own I step back
Look at those smiles and feel sad
Hope they don’t wind end up like dad
Stuck in this loop like I am
I…
Called you never heard back
After everything we been through the good and the bad
You bout to throw it all away and overreact
Because I over reacted karma I guess
My temper gets the best of me a part of me that
I wish I knew how to get rid of it’s an issue I have
My ammo say I need you and I love you to death
Then turn around an go and treat you like you nothing but trash I know
I know I know I know I know I know, yeah I know sometimes I
Lash out
Need to take a breath and calm down
Try to regulate don’t know how
Wasn’t taught that in my house
Kids of my own I step back
Look at those smiles and feel sad
Hope they don’t wind end up like dad
Stuck in this loop like I am
I..