Lyrics : Sam Haft/Andrew Underberg
Music : Sam Haft/Andrew Underberg
Producer : Andrew Underberg/Sam Haft
Charlie:Come on in, here's your key
Let me take your bag, wait 'til you see
The hotel, 'cause it's great!
If you parked your car, we'll validate
All our guests are family
Angel: Hey, perv, hands off the chest fluff!
That's the Hazbin guarantee
And did I mention it's free?
Alastor: It's worth the price
Vaggie: Oh, be nice
Husk: Full of drunks
Cherri: Full of cunts!
Niffty:Full of sticky floors covered in junk
Charlie: Ha, don't mind them
Angel: No one does!
Charlie:Or that hole
Vaggie: Ugh, Cherri!
Cherri:What?
Charlie: You've made a great choice to save your soul
'Cause redemption is possibleI really, really hope
'Cause if it isn't, then my whole life's been a ****in' joke
And my friend died for no reason
And I'm never gonna cope
From watching him get ****ing murdered right in front of me last month
Baxter:What?
There's a bar!
Husk:What the shit?
Charlie: Have a beer
Baxter: I don't drink
Charlie: I just know you're gonna love it here
Charlie&Vaggie: We can live in harmony
Husk: No, I can't make a ****ing Mai Tai
That's the Hazbin guarantee
Charlie:Now repeat after me
Charlie: I'm checkin' in
(I'm checkin' in)
I'm seekin' guidance
(I'm seekin' guidance)
Come on, everybody!
For my reckonin'
(For my reckonin')
I'll never turn to violence
(I'll never turn——)
(Wait, I like violence)
I'm checkin' in
(I'm checkin' in)
I'm seekin' guidance
(That place sucked ass)
Vox: Psst, hey, you
Who? Me?
Vox: That's right, baby!
Redemption got you snoring?
That scene was ****ing boring
Have you considered a vocation that is more rewarding?
Because I sense a drop of star potential
With a little boost, that drip could turn torrential
Velvette: Come on down to Vee Tower
Where we have talent flower
Valentino: No tellin' how hot you could get once you're backed by our power
Velvette:Let's start with a killer fit
Let's get filler in those lips
Valentino:Wax that gooch and pull that strip
Snip, snip, snip
Velvette:Oh——all of Hell's gonna want you
Val&Vel:In this game, no one outdoes us
No one can outbuzz us
Vees: All you gotta do is trust us
Trust us
Vox: Take all these starring roles
Valentino: We trademarked all your holes
Vox&Val: There's no such thing as being totally over-exposed
Velvette: Except now they're sick of you
'Cause they've seen way too much
But we'll still get the clicks from souls who hate you
Vox: Scratch that, they changed the channel
And we can't sell the scandal
Hope you had fun, but we are done with you
Your run has cancelled
We're finished, I'm not kidding
Get the **** out of my building!
Get the **** out of my building!!!
Val&Vel: Snip, snip, snip, bitc*
Oh—but if you know someone
You tell 'em that no one outdoes us
No one can outbuzz us
All they gotta do is
Charlie:Come on in
Come on down to Vee Tower
Charlie:Here's your key
And see how great your afterlife could be
Charlie:We can live in harmony
Val&Vel: Why be nice when you can be famous?
Charlie:That's the Hazbin
Val&Vel:Sign and cash in
Charlie:Guarantee!
Vox:Yeah, right, bitc*
Trust me, just me
Trust—us, no  I...
I meant to say us!
Velvet:Uh huh
Valentino:Yeah okay
Vocals : Erika Henningsen/Christian Borle/Joel Perez/Lilli Cooper/Stephanie Beatriz/Kevin Del Aguila/Krystina Alabado/Keith David/Kimiko Glenn/Amir Talai/Sam Haft/Andrew Underberg
Guitar : Justin Goldner
Keyboard : Andrew Underberg/Sam Haft
Mastering Engineer : Nathan Dantzler
Bass Guitar : Justin Goldner
Drums : Horacio Paris
Mixing Engineer : Andrew Maury