I’m trying to be a success
With the girls down the pub
But I’m failing to impress
I’m getting less than a life of love
If they gave me half a chance
I could show them what I’m really like
Whilst couples make romance
I go home alone every night
I ain’t doing it right
I always end up being sleazy
Whenever I try to be smooth
I feel so weird and so creepy
Why can’t I be a smooth dude?
Maybe I should get a line
To use when I approach a bird
Maybe I should start drinking wine
Get some flashy shoes, an expensive shirt
My confidence is somewhat lacking
And I’m always at a loss for words
When I try to talk they send me packing
Why is it I’m no good with girls?
I always end up being sleazy
Whenever I try to be smooth
I feel so weird and so creepy
Why can’t I be a smooth dude?