Lyrics : Sam Haft/Andrew Underberg
Music : Sam Haft/Andrew Underberg
You're gonna make so many new friends here
Potential amigos around every corner
No bullies or bums, the chums are tens here
It'll be a breezy piece of cake to form your
Brand new squad, crew, or clique
If you want some buddies, you'll have your pick
'Cause no one here is like you
Not one remotely like you
You've got mystique, you're strange and unique
You'll make pals come hither with every hiss and slither
Everyone will like you 'cause no one here is like you
Scented candles, ponies, marshmallow discotheques
Do you have enriched uranium?
No! But we got a unicorn polo stadium
Christmas romcoms all year long at the Multi-plex
I'm in love with you, Santa Claus
Five stars!
And no one here's addicted to crack
I'll get back to my friends
Once I gradate the voltage and calibrate this lens
I will find a way
To quantize this frequency, updrive the peak speed
So I can see them today
No one here schemes like you (I'm coming, Cherri!)
Sheds skin or blasphemes like you (I'll see you in Hell!)
In no time, we shall become your best pals
Ah, shit
Yeah, I forgot to mention
You're not able to leave
But look on the bright side
We'll have so much fun here
From now 'til kingdom come here
We literally will (No, no, no, no, no)
Have forever to chill (No!)
You'll soon know us too well (Ooh-woah)
Since you can't go back to Hell (Yeah, yeah)
So wave your lonely days bye
You big, weird, lonely snake guy
Beagles, sprinkles, friendship
Guinea pigs, churros, pangolins
Everyone will like you 'cause no one here is like you
Ooh, maybe that didn't help actually
Vocals : Alex Brightman/Darren Criss/Hazbin Hotel/Patrick Stump/Shoba Narayan
Programming : Keith Horn
Keyboard : Andrew Underberg/Sam Haft
Mastering Engineer : Nathan Dantzler
Mixing Engineer : Andrew Maury