Lyrics : Jonathon Quiles
Music : Jonathon Quiles
Lately, all I feel is pain
Feels like my heart doesn't beat the same
I wanna give up and I just feel stuck in a life that I know I cannot change
I'm really lonely and feel drained
Sometimes I feel like a mistake
I just sit and dwell in my trauma, my life's full of problems, I feel like I might break
Try to move on, but I just can't
Breakdown after breakdown
And, somedays, I wish I could run away just to escape and feel at ease even if it means one day
Where did my life go wrong?
I was a happy teen and now I'm in the dark
Who's sad as hell and always at a loss
No one could tell I'm drowning in my thoughts
I'm still lost tryna find purposе
After all these yеars, I'm still searching
Hope you forgive me for being a burden
Self-love is  something that I'm still learning
And I know I lie when I tell you I'm fine
'Cause nobody knows I'm struggling inside
Sorry if you see me cry
It's just I finally realized
It's been several years
Since I felt okay
I'm losing my way and
It's been several years
Since I've been on meds
I still feel depressed and
It's been several years
Since I felt alive
There's no tears to cry and
It's been several years
Since I had a friend
They came and went
Lately, I feel so depressed
Tried to get help, but I'm still a mess
I don't ever rest, I guess I'm stressed
Got my head down, hands gripping on my neck
Did I take my last breath?
Did I walk my last step?
I'm alive, but inside I am dead
Look, I lied, I'm not fine 'cause my mind is a wreck
I saw pictures of me in elementary
I don't remember teachers ever telling me
I'd be an adult who senses people's energy
Being an impact, attract souls who lack empathy
When I look back, my past brings back bad memories
Plus, it's so sad, I had to withstand everything
I felt my last ex thought, you stand next to me
You stabbed my back and that hurt me bad mentally
It definitely changed me, but I forgive you
I understand now that you had your own issues
Your fear of abandonment really convinced you
That you weren't enough of the love I would give you
I tried, but I broke myself tryna fix you
And now I feel hurt that you couldn't commit to
Me or the love I would give you
Nobody knows what I've been through
It's been several years
Since I felt okay
I'm losing my way and
It's been several years
Since I've been on meds
I still feel depressed and
It's been several years
Since I felt alive
There's no tears to cry and
It's been several years
Since I had a friend
That came and went